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Lucky Day: A Review

New Chuck Tingle horror means that it’s my lucky day. The mysterious man behind Camp Damascus and Bury Your Gays is back, and he’s about to throw a curveball the likes of which you’ve never seen.

Vera Norrie is a statistician and University of Chicago professor who is about to celebrate the release of her first book, a takedown of Everett Vacation and Entertainment. On May 23rd, she and her fiancée, Annie, are going out for brunch with a group of their friends and Vera’s mother. The whole day has been meticulously planned by Vera as a way of coming out as bisexual to her mom and announcing their planned marriage. When things don’t go quite as hoped, Vera’s mother storms out of the diner with Vera close on her heels, and then all hell breaks loose.

May 23rd would become known as the Low-Probability Event, a disaster of nearly impossible (and statistically ridiculously unlikely) proportions. Nearly eight million people die that day, and Vera flees from the carnage, leaving everything and everyone else behind. I’m not going to say more about the event itself here, because there’s something to Tingle’s crafting of a series of Rube Goldberg-esque deaths that rival anything seen in the Final Destination films that just needs to be experienced for oneself.

Four years after the LPE, Vera’s depression and isolation are interrupted by the arrival of Jonah Layne, an agent for the Low-Probability Event Commission. He’s on a mission to expose Everett Vacation and Entertainment and their flagship Vegas hotel and casino, Great Britannica, as being somehow behind the disaster of May 23rd, and he’s come to get Vera’s help. She’s enlisted as a consultant to examine the reality behind the LPE, and decides to tag along with Agent Layne, mostly because he’s picked the same fight that she once had all those years ago. The big problem is that, while there was only ever one major low-probability event, there’s been a lot of little ones. For Vera and Agent Layne, things can only get weirder.

Lucky Day is an absolute blast to read. It may not appear as strictly horror on the outside, but Tingle’s writing will leave you questioning the odds of, well, everything you could ever fear. Vera is a painfully relatable protagonist, dealing with utter chaos and devastation by functionally shutting down and ignoring society because, after the LPE, nothing really matters. Agent Layne is a delightful foil, a hyper-competent federal agent reminiscent of Twin Peaks‘ own Dale Cooper or Tingle’s own Dark Encounters (the X-Files-esque TV series Tingle’s protagonist, Misha, was writing in Bury Your Gays). The book is out in the world as of Tuesday, August 12th. My utmost thanks to Tor Nightfire and NetGalley for granting me access to an eARC in exchange for a fair review.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World Except Me: A Review

BEWARE! HERE THERE BE SPOILERS FOR BOOK ONE!

SERIOUSLY. GO READ BOOK ONE.

Did you do it? Okay.

Cool. Here we go.

Hail Dark Lord Davi!

Last time we checked in with Davi, she’d successfully manipulated the time loops that she’d been experiencing since she first woke up in The Kingdom, roughly 1,000 years ago (by her own personal reckoning). Since that day, when the wizard Tserigern first told her that she was the Chosen One, fated to save The Kingdom from the Dark Lord, she’s lived and died thousands of times. Each time, beginning a new time loop has allowed Davi to take advantage of her own memories and predict the actions of others around her. Each time, she’s failed to save The Kingdom. So, back at the beginning of Django Wexler’s absolutely brilliant How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying, she started a new tactic—killing Tserigern and setting off on a path to become the Dark Lord (surprise! Bet you didn’t see that coming).

Finally arriving on the far side of the continent and triumphing over her rivals, Davi now stood at the head of a massive horde of wilders with her second in command, the orc woman, Tsav, at her side (as well as frequently in her bed). With Artaxes, the arbiter of the challenges, having officially crowned her as Dark Lord Davi, all that remained was… wait… what happens now?

See, during the challenges, Davi died. Again. Only this time, she didn’t reset back to the beginning with Tserigern. She only went back one day. The rules changed, and suddenly consequences meant something again. Now, Davi faces a new problem. If she doesn’t want to lose all of the progress that she’s finally made in her march to power (and her relationship with Tsav), she’s going to have to stop treating the other people around her as tools and stepping stones. So, new list of tasks: 1.) Convince the wilders that they don’t have to kill all the humans. 2.) Convince the humans that they don’t have to kill the wilders. 3.) Not die.

No big deal, right? Davi sets off from the wilderness back to The Kingdom to uncover the mysteries of how humans ended up in this world in the first place, what changed about the time loops, and, if she’s The Chosen One, who did The Choosing.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World Except Me is another brilliant, darkly hilarious fantasy adventure from Django Wexler, and is a perfect ending to Davi’s long, long, long life. The footnotes throughout continue to annotate Davi’s incredibly ADHD approach to things (supplementing many of her thoughts with her own intrusive thoughts based on her fading memories of our world). Wexler’s humor ensures that Davi’s journey isn’t too fraught, but there’s definitely more consequences for her actions this time around.

It’s out in the world today, May 27th. Get yourself a copy, and dive in!

My utmost thanks to Orbit Books and NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for a fair review. I’m pretty glad I didn’t need a time loop to get it.

OR DID I?!

Advocate: A Review

Aelis is back again! Daniel M. Ford returns to the world we first explored in The Warden and Necrobane, and damn if Advocate isn’t another stellar entry in the series. At the end of Necrobane, Warden Aelis de Lenti had been notified that Bardun Jacques, her mentor from her warden training days, was arrested for murder. Word came to the frontier town of Lone Pine that the Archmagister has requested Aelis return to the city of Lascenise to serve as his Advocate, a role supplemental to his lawyer, and a position that can only be filled by another Warden. She must help to search for information that can prove his innocence, or he will most likely be put to death.

Aelis is loathe to leave her post behind, even if she only intends for it to be temporary. There are many things in Lone Pine that require her near-constant attention, and the people there have finally come to fully trust in her presence and skill. She’s almost starting to think of her sheep-shit-scented tower as home. Decent progress for a rich socialite trained as a Necromancer, really. But Bardun Jacques is the man who is most responsible for Aelis’s success as a student at the Lyceum, so she begins to pack her things for the long journey. She reassures the people that she has come to love that she’ll be back as soon as she can, hopefully with more answers for one particular person, and a particularly difficult problem that’s been plaguing her since Necrobane.

Aelis’s trip with back south to Lascenise with fellow Warden Amadin is interrupted when their carriage is attacked. This attempt on her life helps Aelis to realize that there are far bigger things at stake than just the career of one old wizard. She’s going to have to choose her allies carefully if she’s going to succeed and survive. Being back on familiar ground can only serve as so much of an advantage when there’s a full-blown conspiracy of theft and assassination coming to light. Still, she’s grown a lot during her time at her station in Lone Pine, and a Warden with three schools of magic at her disposal is nothing to mess with, unless you have a great deal of power and influence to wield yourself.

Daniel M. Ford continues to be a powerhouse of a fantasy writer. As he delves into more of Aelis’s history (academic and otherwise), he showcases more of a spectacular magic school and its surrounds. The Lyceum is every bit as wondrous as you would want a magical college to be, complete with a library that rivals those found in The Name of the Wind and Shadow of the Torturer. His combat scenes are tight, well-choreographed, and intense, and his worldbuilding remains top-notch. I loved every page of Advocate, and I hope that you do as well.

Advocate hits store and library shelves on April 22nd. Get ready. And hope, like I do, that there’s more to come.

My utmost thanks as always to Netgalley and Tor for an eARC in exchange for a fair review.

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying: A Review

Django Wexler’s latest novel has a mouthful of a title, but it’s an absolute blast.

Davi is tired. She’s been living in a time loop for hundreds of years since she first found herself in The Kingdom, restarting in the same place, the same state of existence, every time she dies. Sometimes, that’s only a few hours (or minutes) into a loop. Sometimes it’s been years. Every time she wakes up in a new loop, she’s greeted by the same old wizard who tells her that it’s her destiny to save The Kingdom. She has tried hundreds of times, and so far, has always ended up the same way: failing to defeat the newly arisen Dark Lord and their horde of villains. What’s the phrase? If you can’t beat them, join them.

This time around, Davi decides, things are going to be different. She’s done fighting the Dark Lord, and is going to use her ability (curse?) of respawning to take the title for herself. It’s going to be hard, though. Subverting your destiny isn’t easy, even when you can take a few hundred tries to get it right. Step one. Kill the old wizard for starters. Step two. Find the nearest band of orcs and gain their trust. Step three. Use that orc band and her own knowledge of the local Guild patrols and fighting tactics to take out a crew and get their gear. Step four. Turn that little orc gang to start building up a proper army, and fast.

Oh, did she mention that she’s only got two months or so to get to the Convocation where the new Dark Lord will be selected? Davi needs to get moving if she’s going to get her tenure as Dark Lord on track, but she has no guarantees that things will end any differently than every time she tried to be a hero. After all, the Convocation is held beyond the edge of the map, as far as the Guild is concerned. She has no experience breaking the standard loop of time, and each day she moves beyond her previous routine is one day further that she’ll have to go if she screws up. She’s headed into unknown territory now, and the fate of her adopted world is at stake.

Wexler’s newest novel is perfect for fans of roguelike games like Hades. It’s an absolutely hilarious and unrepentantly horny book, and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Wexler’s writing traces a line between homage and irreverent humor, particularly where Davi’s footnotes are concerned (after a few hundred lives, she’s lost track of some of the details of her own background, and her memories from Earth are slightly scrambled). Even better? This is book one of a series. How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying is available next Tuesday, May 21st.

My utmost thanks to Orbit Books and NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for a fair review.

Necrobane: A Review

Daniel M. Ford blew me away last year when I got to read The Warden. At the time, I had said that I was hoping that I would get to spend more time in Aelis’s world soon, and guess what? Necrobane is here.

This book picks up immediately where The Warden left off, so heads up. Here there be spoilers.

Aelis is a necromancer and a noble scion. She’s a child raised in wealth in a large city, trained in magic and combat. In short, she is the antithesis of most of the people that she is, as a Warden, charged to protect. In her efforts to defend the village of Lone Pine, she accidentally activated an unknown number of animated dead of Mahlgren, necromancy-fueled remnants of the last war. While she was able to defeat the handful of skeletons that arose within the chamber she was exploring, she learned that there are far more similar crypts scattered throughout the realm. Now that they’re active, they’re likely to be heading in the direction of her new home. Just as the villagers were beginning to trust the outsider, now she’s got to warn them about an impending invasion of restless dead that are technically only emerging because of her actions.

Rather than leave the people of Lone Pine to fend for themselves, Aelis quickly hatches a plan to seek out a control mechanism that could potentially deactivate the entire enemy force. She narrows down the likely location to a stronghold of a fallen empire and gathers her allies. She may be a skilled and talented Necrobane, able to defeat animated dead with her own magic, but this struggle isn’t a solo venture. Up first, of course, is Maurenia. The half-elf is a skilled soldier and engineer, and her status as Aelis’s lover doesn’t hurt her chances to be invited along. Next is Timmuk, a dwarf merchant and a coworker of Maurenia’s on their last excursion across the frontier of Ystain. Last but not least is Tun, a half-orc woodsman who assisted Aelis on her previous adventure. Tun’s skill as a tracker is invaluable in their journey through the wilderness. Together, they hope to cut off any animated dead before they’re able to even approach Lone Pine. Ideally, they’ll put them down before any tensions between the humans and orcs along the frontier can be strained and reignite a war. Plus, maybe they’ll find some treasure along the way! As long, that is, as the control mechanism actually exists…

Ford’s writing and world-building remain top-notch throughout Necrobane, and it makes a spectacular continuation to the story established in The Warden. The stakes are higher now, and Aelis’s skills are going to be pushed to their limit if the party has any chance of succeeding. I am still wildly in love with this series, and will continue to recommend it for any fantasy fan who enjoys D&D and books like Gideon the Ninth and Legends & Lattes. I know at this point that we’re expecting a 3rd book in Aelis’s adventures in the near future, and I am ready for it.

My utmost thanks (once again) to Netgalley and Tor Publishing for access to an eARC of this book in exchange for a fair review. Today is publication day, so go grab yourself a copy.

The Warden: A Review

When Aelis arrives in Lone Pine, she’s struck almost immediately by the smell of sheep shit. This doesn’t bode well for her scheduled two-year tenure as the new Warden of the small farming village out on the border with orc country. Still, she has no way to contest her station, despite her wealthy heritage. The Lyceum where she studied wizardry saw fit to send her to Lone Pine, even if it doesn’t seem like a proper location for a Warden who specialized in Necromancy.

Truth be told, Aelis would rather be anywhere else. Any urban post. Somewhere closer to her friends and lovers from school. Anywhere were her contractually obligated housing isn’t a broken down, falling apart tower. Anywhere she might have people to protect who aren’t deathly afraid of her. But no. She’s in Lone Pine, and only Martin and Rus, the local innkeepers, have any tolerance for her presence. Almost everyone else shuns her and attempts to avoid her at all costs. It’s a rough start, to be sure, but it’s Aelis’s station, and she’ll do her job. She’s a Warden, after all, not just a wizard.

When a group of adventurers make their way into Lone Pine from a frontier excursion, cart laden with gold to spend in the small town, it seems like the fortunes of the villagers are about to change. However, a violent encounter shatters the peace and sends Aelis on a quest to track down the guilty party. Her journey will take her into the wilderness, and bring her face to face with threats both old and new.

Daniel M. Ford’s The Warden is out in stores today, and I highly recommend it to any D&D player or fantasy adventure fan, especially for those who’ve enjoyed Travis Baldree’s Legends and Lattes or Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth. It was an absolute treat to read, playing with tropes and expectations throughout the book. I’ve loved every minute that I’ve spent in this world, and I hope to get to visit it again soon.

My utmost thanks to NetGalley and Tor Publishing Group for access to an eARC in exchange for an honest review.