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Memorial

“Memorial”

I don’t know where they came up with the idea to commission that damn statue. It doesn’t even look like me. The hair’s all wrong. I never wore it in a braid in those days. It wasn’t even long enough.

I don’t think it’s necessary. I hate the idea of memorializing something that… violent, I guess. It’s kind of the antithesis (did I pronounce that right?) of everything we stood for.

Yeah, I suppose. At least he looks good. The sculptor nailed his eyes. I would’ve never thought they’d be able to capture the intensity. He was all fire and thunder, even then.

Did we? Some people would say that any action like the one we took is treason. Or was. It never really felt clear to me that we were doing the right thing. It wasn’t about right or wrong. It was about what needed to be done.

No, I don’t plan to stick around. Public events aren’t my thing. They never were. They were his. He was always the social one. It’s funny. He claimed he hated it, but he was always out there, smiling for the worlds to see. Always said that he could do it because he knew I was there with him, and now here I am, and he’s…

I’m okay. I just… I just need a minute.

No, I appreciate you. It’s rare for someone in your line of work to speak so frankly to me. I can’t tell you how I’ve responded to journalists asking about him, or me, or us, or what have you. Just something about you. Reminded me of him, I suppose. It made it easy to talk to you. So thank you. I wish you the best of luck.

You too. I hope things work out in your favor.

 

Isn’t It?

“Isn’t It?”

Eerie, isn’t it
The man whispered inside his
Own head. The way
The silence descends on a
Place like this.
Yes, quite,
The man whispered to
Himself. Nothing but the
Quiet hanging oppressively
Over our head.

Strange, isn’t it
The man whispered inside his
Own head. The way
So many people come and go
Without your notice.
Yes, quite,
The man whispered to
Himself. There should be
So many more
This time of night.

Odd, isn’t it
The man whispered inside his
Own head. The way
That no one else hears us but
You and me.
Yes, quite,
The man whispered to
Himself. But it’s better
Than having someone
Overhear your thoughts.

Fascinating, isn’t it
The man whispered inside his
Own head. The way
You can lose yourself in
Just the stillness.
Yes, quite,
The man whispered to
Himself. But it’s in
That stillness that I
Find my way.

 

Tucker

Tucker came to live with my family in the summer of 2006. He was found on the side of the road with a small head injury, a stray who looked to have fallen from a passing vehicle, and my sister fell in love with him instantly. It wasn’t hard for her to convince Dad to bring the little orange tabby home.

Though he was ostensibly an outdoor cat, my sisters and I found every reason we could to keep in inside with us. We wanted him to be close to us, and he felt the same way. He would sit outside our back porch door meowing for someone to take pity on him, even on the nicest of summer evenings. I would bring him inside, letting him fall asleep in my bed, curled up against the back of my legs.

He was a smart cat, and took to small-town life fabulously. He didn’t have a litterbox in the house, so he would wake me up with a nip at my eyebrow or wrist so that I could let him out. If I wanted to go get the mail, or pick up a can of Mountain Dew at the local gas station, Tucker would walk with me, or ride on my shoulders, or in the hood of my sweatshirt. At the time, it was the closest I’d ever been to having a pet that was mine. We’d had other cats, dogs, rabbits, etc. but they all belonged either to the family or to one of my sisters. Tucker, though, was my responsibility.

I hated to leave him behind when I went to college. My parents and little sister would give me updates on him when I would call home. On my trips back to my parents’ house, he would be let back inside to spend time with me. During Christmas break, he would spend hours crawling around in the boxes I’d brought home from school.

In short, the little dude was one of my best friends during the years that he spent with us.

Five years ago, I recieved news that Tucker had died. It was a very sudden passing, and we suspect that his head injury as a kitten might have been an underlying cause. Whatever the reason, his death hit me very hard.

Today, I went looking for a writing prompt, and found one that talked about writing a story about an animal. I realized that today was the anniversary of Tucker’s death, and I knew I had to write a little piece about him. I started this blog a couple of weeks after he died, and never really acknowledged that loss here until now, when he’s been gone longer than he was actually with us. So here’s to you, little guy. I miss you like crazy.

Tucker

Winter

“Winter”

Today I look west over the mountains
And I see the sun sinking below them.
Snow coats them, and I dream briefly
Of distant oceans, islands, tropical
Paradises where the sun will not set for
Hours and the people have never had to
Wear clothes with long sleeves and the
Only skiing to be had is done behind a
Boat, and I remind myself of why I
Stay where I am, in a land that gives me
A proper winter.

2016

I’ve got a lot to look forward to this year.

I’m going to get caught up on Welcome to Night Vale. I’m only about a dozen episodes behind right now. That’s not too shabby for only having started listening to the show back in February. I’m also reading the novel, which I received for Christmas. It’s proving to be just as much fun as the show itself.

My high school class will be holding our ten year reunion this summer. Despite most of us still living within a few hours of our hometown, we haven’t spent a lot of time together since graduation. It’ll be good to see old friends again.

When you’re a part of it, Ren Faire is always just around the corner. This year is the 40th anniversary of the Colorado Renaissance Festival, and to celebrate, we’ll be open for nine weekends instead of the usual eight.

I found an amazing book challenge via one of my facebook friends. Take a look. I’ll be working through this checklist as I work toward my goodreads goal of 100 books.

2016 Reading Challenge

I’m looking through potential titles to read for all of these, and I’m not going to allow a single title to fulfill multiple requirements, even though some certainly could.

I’m going to learn Numenera. I bought the boxed set last summer, and I’ve been wanting to really get into it. It seems like an absolutely incredible RPG, and I love learning new systems. I’m also hoping for some more stuff from Wizards for 5th Edition D&D.

And there’s my goals for this year.

I’m pretty damn excited for 2016. I look forward to having you along for the ride.

2015 in review

Well, it’s not quite what I would’ve liked it to be, but here’s a summary of my slowest year since starting this blog.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Goals for 2016

2015 has been an incredibly big year for me, but not so much on the writing front. It’s become painfully clear to me over the last few weeks that this needs to change. I’m not typically one for New Year’s Resolutions, though. Sure, they’re a good way to plan out some of the changes that you’d like to make over the coming year, but how many of them are abandoned? According to research, about 92%. So it’s not good enough to make this just a 2016 resolution. It’s got to be more than that. So, here we go.

1.) Write more. I know, this one’s fairly obvious. I didn’t get a whole lot written during the course of the past year, and I need to focus on that. I’ve neglected my blog, and therefore neglected you, dear readers. That’s not fair to any of us. If I’m going to be a writer, I have to write. “Art harder, motherfucker.” Part of this includes starting up a journal again. It’s been nearly two years since the last time I kept a regular journal, something that I used to work on every day. At the very least, it’s a way of ensuring that I write something (anything) more frequently. It’s all about developing a rhythm. Writing needs to be my strongest habit.

2.) Submit more work. I’m totally okay with getting rejection letters, but I have to, you know, actually send stuff in to publications in order to get said aforementioned rejection letters. And who knows. Maybe somebody will like what I send them (I’m open to recommendations, by the way).

3.) Draw more. It gets my creativity going, and I know that’s been a major issue as far as #1 has been concerned. I’ve been trying to get back into it, since I’ve always love to draw. I found my art supply tote from college, and so I’m going to be breaking out the charcoals again for the first time in a loooooong time. I also want to get back into pencil drawings (way less messy and so much easier to take on the go—and an example of some of my work from high school can be found here).

4.) Communicate more. I’ve been kind of in hermit mode for a lot of the past year. While I did see my family a lot (having two sisters get married in the same year will do that), I didn’t get to spend as much time with some of my friends as I would have liked, especially considering that some of them have moved closer. Some will also be moving away soon, and I want to see them before they go.

5.) Vote. What? It’ll be a presidential election year. If you’re eligible to vote in the US, get out and fucking do it. This applies every year, but since more focus is given to presidential elections, I’m making a special note of it. I’m not going to go into any sort of depth on my political viewpoints here. This isn’t the place for such things. Those of you who know me well should have a pretty good idea of who I’m rooting for anyway.

6.) Get full-time employment. You’d think that with almost five years at my current employer this one would be a gimme. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Fortunately, I’m getting a lot of substitute shifts. Substitute shifts are good, and definitely help to pay the bills. However, locking in full-time would give me a great deal of job security. Is it the ultimate solution to financial woes? No, but it’s better than hoping that another one of my co-workers gets sick or goes on vacation or has a baby or what have you.

7.) Read more. I’ve knocked out 187 books so far, according to Goodreads, and I’m pretty pleased. My goal for the year was fifty. And yes, many of them were graphic novels, but I still got through all of Kevin Hearne’s Iron Druid Chronicles, along with several other longer novels. I’d still like to read more. I’d always like to read more. One of the best parts of my job is knowing that everything that I read is helping me provide better guidance to library patrons looking for their next book.

I’d say that’s a pretty good start to planning my year. Stick around, dear readers. There’ll be new stories coming your way soon.

And hey. Thanks.

Imagination, Creativity, and Space

When I was a child, my older sister invented a world in the garden. I’m not sure if it was more inspired by Narnia or Terabithia, because to me it seemed to be equal parts of both. It’s strange to think of a lush realm in the midst of the Colorado plains, but she managed it somehow. It was hidden away beneath the shade of a plum tree and walled in by a grape vine, and it was there that she established her domain. During the spring, she would pick flowers from the local greenhouse and plant them in her little corner of the back yard. It was a fantastic spot to spend a hot afternoon. With fresh fruit growing overhead (and around the corner in the main part of our parents’ garden) and water from the hose, you could stay out there for hours.

I never said anything to her then, but I was jealous. I wanted something like that, and she’d taken the best spot in the yard for it. I realize now, though, how important having a space of her own was to her. When we were kids, there were four of us sharing two bedrooms, and it was never easy for any of us to get time to ourselves. If I had the bottom bunk of the beds I shared with our youngest sister, I would hang blankets up to turn it into a fort. When we got a new fridge, I asked to keep the box it came in. Some scissor work and marker drawing later, it sat on the top bunk and turned into a Calvin and Hobbes-esque spaceship. Both of these spaces were mine, despite only being partitions within another room.

We would seek out places where our creativity could thrive. I didn’t realize how essential it was then, but the space we could make for ourselves was critical to us. Our imaginations were fueled by the books we read and heard, and the desire to craft something from our own thoughts moved us forward. Today, my big sister is an architect, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. She went to college and poured herself onto canvas and into sculpture, bringing her imagination into reality. Just like she did in the garden back home, she’s making the world a little more like she dreamed it could be, one small space at a time. It’s an incredible bit of inspiration for me. I may use a keyboard or a pen and paper where she used paint and clay (and now wood, concrete, steel), but I like to think that, at least in some small way, I’m following a part of her path.

On Veterans Day

Today is the eleventh of November, a day that celebrates the sacrifices made by those who have served or are currently serving in the United States Armed Forces. It is Veterans Day. On this day, I would like to express my gratitude to my family and friends, both current and former military. I would like to thank all those who have served, because it is a sacrifice. I would like to thank the family members and friends of our veterans as well. Please do not think of me as ungrateful.

But I would like to say something more. I would like to share a wish, a prayer, a dream. It’s something that I feel every Veterans Day. I would like to see a future where we don’t have to thank living veterans, and the years in which the dead fell are further and further from us. Not out of spite or malice, but out of a desire for an end to war. I long for the day when our military forces are no longer necessary, for a Veterans Day celebration that doesn’t require us to thank our loved ones via Skype or phone. I hope for a future when we can thank all those who sacrificed time, family, and life so that no more must ever sacrifice the same. I don’t want to forget the veterans who have come before, or those who are yet to serve. Your service to your country should never be forgotten. I only wish that we had less need of you. I wish there were no cause that required you to give up what you do. I dream of peace. I’ll do my part to make it a reality.

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” 
—John F. Kennedy

Thank you.

On Star Wars, the Expanded Universe, and Canon

I can’t begin to describe the importance of Star Wars in my life. One of my earliest memories is of watching The Empire Strikes Back on VHS at my grandparents’ house, surrounded by my sisters and cousins. The Battle of Hoth, Luke’s encounter with Yoda, Lando’s betrayal… These are powerful moments in one of the most masterful science fiction films ever made. I would jump at any chance to watch the trilogy, since when I was very young, we didn’t own a VCR (we would rent one from the local Radio Shack or Video Den every few weeks, as a special treat).

I don’t remember how old I was when I picked up my first Star Wars book. It was the novelization of Return of the Jedi, and I loved it. I still own it, in fact. Just came across it earlier this week.

It's beautiful.

It’s beautiful.

If memory serves, I found it by chance at a book sale at my hometown library. It may even have been the first novelization I ever read, I couldn’t say for certain anymore, but it was the starting point. I quickly tracked down the remaining novelizations and read them, eventually buying copies for my collection (one of my elementary school teachers had copies in her classroom, and I loved her for it).

It wasn’t long after that that I discovered Kevin J. Anderson and Rebecca Moesta’s Young Jedi Knights series, focusing on Jacen and Jaina, Leia and Han Solo’s children. This was my first foray into the Star Wars Expanded Universe, and I couldn’t get enough. By jumping in to a story that was set over fifteen years into the future (post-ROTJ), I was introduced to characters and concepts that I’d never seen in Star Wars before. I had to find out more, and I set out to find copies of books like The Truce at Bakura, Heir to the Empire, and X-Wing: Rogue Squadron. Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, and the others were all still around, having all kinds of new adventures, and it was a chance for the minor characters like Boba Fett and Wedge Antilles (and newcomers like Winter and Mara Jade) to shine. Decades pass, and new enemies rise and fall. Heroes are born and live bright lives before they die. It isn’t all perfect, but it’s amazing to see the sheer amount of content produced within the years since the Expanded Universe began.

Some time ago, it was announced that the Expanded Universe would no longer be a part of the official Star Wars canon, being shunted into a parallel universe of sorts. The EU (no, not that one) will continue to exist as Star Wars Legends, but no new material will be created within it. All new Star Wars material will be written to align with the film canon. I’m torn on my feelings about this. I hate to see the work of so many talented writers be seemingly thrown out (except as possible inspiration for characters and events), but I’m thrilled that there are so many new opportunities for writers like Kevin Hearne and Chuck Wendig to get to write official Star Wars novels. I read Hearne’s book, Heir to the Jedi, a few months ago. I was intrigued by a chance to get a first-person perspective from Luke after the events of A New Hope, and I was not disappointed.

Last week was Force Friday, the officially launch date of the merchandise for The Force Awakens. It also marked the release of Chuck Wendig’s first Star Wars novel, Aftermath. Reviews on amazon have been overwhelmingly positive for the first new-canon post-ROTJ book (with the exception of reviews posted by bigoted/homophobic trolls who can’t believe that diversity can exist within a sci-fi universe). I can’t wait to read it and write a review for you. For now, you can track down your own copy of Aftermath, or read any of Chuck’s delightful fiction or blog posts. Check him out here.

The new canon of Star Wars is moving in very positive directions, toward a more diverse and inclusive galaxy far far away. While I am going to miss the Legends characters, I know that they’ll still be where they’ve always been, waiting for me to pick up their books. The Star Wars universe you love is not going away. It’s just giving new people their well-deserved time in the suns.