The Swords of the Ancients

I’m writing this in my old bedroom at my parents’ house, sipping on a glass of Glen Livet at 1 AM, thinking about how much has changed since the last time I was home. In the last three weeks, my cat has died, leaving my parents’ house considerably more empty feeling. In addition to this, my bedroom no longer has a bed in it. Granted, this was the case when I was home at Christmas as well, but it’s more obvious now. My bedroom is now officially my dad’s office. It has been repainted for the first time in roughly 15 years, and the carpet that had been in here since I was an infant has been replaced by a hardwood floor. The couch I slept on last time I was home is still in here, but my dad has added a desk, file cabinets, and some more bookshelves. It doesn’t feel like home anymore. It’s a weirdly alienating feeling. I’m trying to convince myself to go to sleep, and to rest up for the big day ahead of me, but quite frankly, I’m not that convincing.

No, I’m not that convincing at all. I’ve already written in my journal for the day, and I don’t feel like reading. Even turning the light off hasn’t really done anything, other than emphasizing how cold it is in here right now. Since I can’t sleep, I should consider how cold it is in the desert at night. Yeah, during the day it is unbearably hot, but once the sun sets and the moons rise (yeah, two moons aren’t quite as iconic as the binary sunset on Tattooine, but they’re also a lot more likely to occur in a system that’s remotely capable of supporting human life), the temperature drops fast. It’s something that my characters are going to have to deal with in their crossing of the Sand Sea. Rime will be prepared. Arsus, however, will be caught quite by surprise. Lots of things will be surprises for Arsus, who has never really taken a good long look at the world until now. This is part of what lands him in the situation which will form most of the plot of the novel. Rime, entertainingly enough if that remains his name, will serve as the voice of reason. He will be an incredible foil to Arsus, and this interaction will be quite entertaining to write. Already their relationship has allowed me to write a couple of fantastic lines of dialogue that will likely make it unedited into the final draft of the book.

I think it’s high time I give credit to my many influences. It really helps to know who has helped to formulate thoughts within my head. Obviously, many of my favorite authors have contributed to my writing style and setting. Chief among these are men and women like J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Frank Herbert, Douglas Adams, Arthur C. Clarke, Brian Jacques, J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, Geoffrey Chaucer, etc. Musicians have always served as motivation to write as well. My Chemical Romance released a new album not long before I began to write this. They’re always in my head. So are bands like Led Zeppelin, Rush, Styx, Muse (fuck off, Twi-tards, they were a good band long before Stephanie Meyer told you to listen to them), Lifehouse (when I’m trying to write something almost romantic), etc.

Speaking of romance, there’s still a question of how much of that will be in the book. Many of the characters will be male. That’s not to say there won’t be at least one strong female lead role to help round out the roster. It’s just that the two main characters are both male, and there may or may not be some chemistry between them as the story develops. It’s not yet clear in my own head to what extent this relationship will be taken. Arsus and Rime are already closer than anyone might suspect, but not in a way that many readers would predict. To take their link in that direction might upset some, but it might please others. I’m still not certain how I feel about it. I think that by the end of the novel, they will be willing to openly say “I love you,” but the circumstances surrounding this are still in development.

As are many secondary characters. Chaucer had LOTS of pilgrims on his journey in the Canterbury tales. I only have two protagonists at this point (really one hero and one sort of anti-hero, depending on how readers view the goals and aspirations of both Rime and Arsus, respectively). I’m working on some details regarding other people who will join them on their journey across the great desert. Some of these people may start on the journey with them but not make it all the way. Others may join partway across the burning ocean. Oooo, that could be a good description of a massive body of sand… Regardless, there will be characters of varying alignments and goals. This will add a great bit of flavor to the story, but they will, again, not be pointless. Almost nothing in this will be pointless, or so I hope. I want every major character to serve some purpose.

As some of you may or not have guessed, I’m quite fond of the new My Chemical Romance album, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys. That’s where today’s title come from. “Bulletproof Heart” is an incredible track on a phenomenal album. It’s been on my mind a lot lately. Listen to it if you haven’t yet. If you’re an MCR fan, it’s a great new direction of them. If you’re not, now’s the time to start listening.

Additionally, I’m back from my great uncle Phil’s funeral. It went well.

I’m really grateful to the years I spent working in a university library. It was great experience for me on many levels. Not only do I have amazing customer service skills (hint hint, all you potential employers out there), but I also gained a great understanding of the processes necessary to conduct beneficial research. It’s really nice to know what I need to look for in order to find the information I need. I’ve actually found some great references in my old home that I can utilize for the book I’m working on.

You see, not everything in a book like this can be purely out of my own head. There needs to be some sort of effort put into it so people see realism, not pure trippy fantasy. I want people to know that the facts that are presented in this book, despite being put to use in a sci-fi/fantasy setting, are actually somewhat accurate. For example, if one of the characters has a certain condition, I want to be certain that any symptoms of said condition are within standard realms of possibility and probability. Though one of these would always come in handy. It’s a plot-contrivance machine!

As a side note here, I’d like to point out that I absolutely love the work of Douglas Adams. I don’t know where my life would be right now if I’d not stumbled upon a copy of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” in my uncle’s room. The book and its subsequent companions remain one of my top series, and are something I consistently reread, just for the outlandish humor contained within. I have every intention of keeping a towel with me all day on May 25th this year, celebrating the 10th anniversary of “Towel Day.” I can’t believe it’s already been ten years since Mr. Adams passed away. The point of this little side note, though, is to point out that my book, while being potentially at least PART satire, will not be humorous on the level of the Guide. It wasn’t conceived as comedy, and so it will not grow up to be comedy. It’s intended to be a somewhat dark and thought provoking (not pro-viking, like I nearly wrote) piece of literature that takes readers on a journey of self-discovery. It’s not the Guide. It’s not anywhere close to that, and it never will be. I would never dare to fly that close to the sun.

But as for the researching bit, it’s fun and awkward at the same time. While I can say that I’m doing research for a novel in the event that anyone asks me why I am reading articles about cancer and alcoholism and deviant behavior, I’m still not certain that I’ll get the most positive looks from people who see me reading them in public. I mean, honestly, I really don’t want to be classified as any more of a weirdo than I already am. Hence why I do most of my research online, but there is still something to be said for the sheer joy of digging through a stack of books on a rainy/cold/snowy day hunting for one elusive detail you can find in about 5 seconds on google. I miss the old ways. Call me old fashioned. I don’t care. I’ll walk the line between technology and nostalgia for the rest of my life, using netflix to stream Greer Garson movies.

Oh, joy. A car alarm at one AM. I’m so glad to know that it’s not mine.

Yes, it’s one AM here. In about 15 hours, I’m going to be getting in a car to drive home to my parents’ house. My great uncle’s funeral is Friday morning, and we’re going to be gathering to celebrate his life. Personally, I plan to toast him with a glass of 15 year old scotch. I’ll be out of internet range for a couple of days, but fear not, dear readers. I’ll return to you quickly enough. It’s not as though your lives hinge upon my next post (but if they do, please let me know, and I’ll try to write something brief to tide you over 😀 ).

Being a grown-up is far more stressful than it needs to be. Though I suppose the real lesson for today is that I still need to learn to shut up once in a while and keep my thoughts to myself. That’s what blogs are for, right? Angry rants? Hahahaha. I don’t think so. If I wanted to be an emo kid, I’d go whine on my deviantART account.

Everything that a writer experiences in his or her life is potential story material. This means that I can/should focus any negative situation into some challenge that my characters can overcome. Hopefully it will help me figure out what it is that I need to do. In today’s situation, this really means that Arsus has potentially SEVERELY alienated one of his companions. This isn’t likely to be Rime, as the two of them are going to be at each others’ throats 90% of the time. Rather, it will be one of the secondary characters, maybe even the one who dies later on. I’m not sure. Again, there’s still a lot of room to maneuver things around. Very little of this story is set in stone. Most of it’s set in a desert. 😀 Yes, lame joke, I know. I’m not really in the mood to be writing golden comedy right now. Tonight might have to involve a trip to the liquor store. We’ll see. I do have rent and bills to pay this week, and I need to watch my spending anyway, due to the fact that hours are limited at work. Though it IS almost Chinese New Year… Sake might be required. After all, it is my zodiac year.

It’s still cold as a post-Broncos-Super-Bowl-Win-hell. I like it, though. I love winter weather. Why I’m writing about something set in a desert, I have no idea. I suppose it may be because I grew up in a place that’s known for its dry weather. Northeastern Colorado can get pretty nasty in the summer heat. Hardly desert conditions, but still…

Back to the story. Arsus and Rime are crossing the desert as part of a pilgrimage, much akin to Chaucer’s cast in the Canterbury Tales. Each of the characters who chooses to join them on their journey will add a unique view of the world. They will be people of different classes and skills (and feats! No. This isn’t D&D). Each one of them will have different ideas about the characters they travel alongside. I’m not sure yet who the narrator will be. That’s something I’d like to decide on fairly quickly. I want to plan out how he or she will interact with the world, and whether or not said narrator will be reliable and trustworthy or if my readers will be questioning the sincerity of everything the narrator says. It’s all part of the journey. Everything that happens in my world will be told through one person’s perspective. Perhaps it will be someone close to Arsus, someone who has watched him for a long time. I’ve got a few possibilities of things that could work for that. Anyway, it’s time to wrap up and call it a night. Peace!

That’s right, folks, it’s character building time!

Today it’s really REALLY cold outside, so I’m taking advantage of the day off and getting some more work done. I’m attempting to come up with physical descriptions of the characters I’m designing, since their personalities are pretty much already intact. It’s part of my OCD, getting all of this stuff planned out in advance of the heavy bits of writing. Knowing what a character looks like enables me to have a great mental image of them, and makes their interaction with other characters far more believable, at least to me.

Characters in this are going to be entertaining. One of them in particular is going to be fun to write. This one is Arsus. He’s got a pretty unique view on life, and his interactions with Rime, his primary traveling companion, are going to be some of the best bits of dialogue in the whole thing. You’ll understand the reason for this soon enough.

Right now, life is pretty good. I’m sitting by a fire in my girlfriend’s parents’ basement, laughing at the -20 weather outside. This blog entry has been a long time coming. I’ve been trying to get some writing done for the last few days, but it hasn’t been going so well. I guess I’ve got a lot on my mind, what with the job hunting and all. There’s also getting travel plans made for this weekend. It’s not a trip I want to have to make, but it will be good to see the family.

It’s hard to believe how much has changed in the last year. I’ve been looking back on where I was a year ago, and remembering some of my writing. A little over a year ago, I was taking a class on Poetry and Social Justice. I have no idea who started that particular one, but one of my favorite professors was involved, and it was three credits I desperately needed for graduation, so I jumped in. Eventually, I was teamed up with a couple of the other students in the class, and we started talking about social situations in town. It turned out that one of our teammates regularly visited the local “tent city” with her husband, providing food, propane, and a friendly attitude to many of the homeless people in town. It was quickly decided that part of our project for the class would involve going out to meet some of these people for ourselves, getting to see the conditions in which they lived. So one afternoon, we got ourselves geared up and went to meet some of the so-called bums that lived alongside the river.

It was eye-opening. The people I met were all willing to talk about how they had ended up in their situation. Most of them openly admitted to having made some wrong decision at some point in their lives, but they wanted a chance to prove to the city (and the world) that they could still make a contribution to society, if someone would just give them the opportunity to try again. Two of them in particular had a profound impact on me. One of them was a man who, when I told him what I was doing, offered me a sandwich from his supply tent and gave me a candle that shared sentiments about being happy despite having no “home.” I found out a couple of weeks later that this man had suffered a heart attack and passed away before he was able to get to a hospital. The other man called himself “Dog,” and provided inspiration critical to one of my favorite poems. Dog was one of the middle-aged men I met that day, and he reminded me very much of my father in his voice, actions, and general attitude towards life. I have no idea what has happened to Dog in the last year. I hope that he’s doing well. It just goes to show you that you never know where you’re going to find inspiration.

Someone has to die.

I just don’t know who, yet, but I know that it needs to happen. There are going to be several people I could choose from. Actually, now that I think about it, there’s one that I could kill off far more easily than the others. It depends on how I end up introducing him…this could get far more interesting than I’d initially planned. At any rate, the characters need to feel the presence of death, one in particular. I know I’ve been keeping a lot of the plot under wraps, but it will suffice to say that one of the characters (I’m tentatively naming him Arsus) needs a smack in the face to remind him about what it means to be mortal. In this case, said smack will arrive in the form of a dead comrade. It won’t be anything heroic. It won’t be some noble sacrifice. It won’t even be a crowning moment of sad… “I am a leaf on the wind.” Not like that. It will just be factual. People die. Call it morbid, if you like. I call it gritty realism. It will set up for a very nice parallel later on in the story, so it’s not without purpose. It’s just that if I explain it at all (within the confines of the story, not the blog, dear reader), it loses it’s initial “WTF?!” impact.

How much of my life should I pour into my work? Rather, how much should art reflect reality? I ask myself this because many of the questions I’m going to be having characters ask will be questions that I have asked of myself and of others close to me. It’s not strange to me to have these characters be full of curiosity. I mean, part of that might be because I’m still very curious about them and their world. They’re taking me by the hand and guiding me, showing me their secrets, things they don’t even fully understand, as of yet. I like this part of the creative process. It’s a stage of growth for me, both as a writer and as a person. It’s a journey of self-discovery. I’ve said this before, but it’s something I’m realizing more and more as I’m venturing from Dhe’sku’va to Dhe’laza with Arsus and his companion, a man named Rime. These two, as my protagonists, are rapidly endearing themselves to me. I’ve only recently met them, but I know that their stories are going to be told through me. Hopefully by the time their journey is complete, the great Sand Sea will be safe to traverse for all, and the record of their story will be less confusing than this (though certainly more serious).

Some people are probably going to look at the blog and wonder why I have links EVERYWHERE. To answer the question, I will just say that it’s because I spend too much time reading posts like this. I like to share things that I find on the internet, but I’m no chain-mail spammer. I hate forwards (especially when I get the same one multiple times from people in my family), and I hate the idea of sharing useless stuff with people, but sometimes…sometimes I find something so hilarious (at least to me…) that I HAVE to share it with somebody. It’s a strange desire. There are some things that remind me of inside jokes, and so those have to be at least discussed with someone else who shared in the adventure that led to the joke that led to the laughter at the random stumbleupon discovery, like the one I had Wednesday morning. There’s also the fact that blogging software makes link embedding so ridiculously easy that I don’t even have to have brain functionality to use it. It’s fun! 😀

I’m trying to be patient. It’s been a weird couple of days. We lost my grandpa’s youngest brother, my great uncle, Wednesday evening. He was a man with whom I shared a name, and that was something that I always considered incredibly significant, despite the fact that I was not, actually, named for him. I didn’t know him as well as I would have liked, and I feel an extra tinge of guilt for having made excuses not to call him over the last week and a half. Now it’s too late, and that really hurts. I’m doing better now than I was a day ago, though. I’ve got some of the best friends in the world, and they’ve all been doing everything they can to get me back to my usual level of enthusiasm and energy.

On a positive note, my business cards should be in soon. I can’t wait. I’m tired of scribbling contact information for people on receipts and whatever else happens to be handy. No more, sir. From now on, it’s going to be recycled paper (because I love the environment, despite my 30 mile-per-day commute in my 29 year-old car) with a logo of my own design (because I’m creative!) and a quote from William Butler Yeats. “Let us go forth, the tellers of tales, and seize whatever prey the heart long for, and have no fear.”

So I put most of my time off yesterday to use reorganizing my bedroom/office in my apartment. I think it turned out well. My makeshift computer desk is now far more accessible, and I don’t have to sit on my bed  to really put it to use. All in all, it’s a far more utilitarian setup. Granted, my bed is now about a foot further away from my door, so that’s going to take some getting used to when I come back to my room and I’m about to pass out from booze/exhaustion. Oh well. It’s worth the cost of adjustment. I have a setup now that will allow me to be a lot more productive. It may be that I’m just feeling well rested from the back to back days off, but who cares. I’m raring to go right now, and I’m not going to complain about feeling motivated.

As part of my great rearrangement, I dug into my old notebooks. I managed to find nearly every page I’d ever written about one of the critical locations in the novel, Dhe’laza, the City of the Mountain Vale. This is a small, isolated city, located in a small valley surrounded by mountains. It’s a beautiful place, but it hides some dark secrets. It’s also the initial goal of the main characters in the story. As such, it needs to be one of the most well-planned locations that I am going to be describing. Within the pages I found in my notebooks, I found some of my details on the city, the governing body that rules it, and the people who reside within its walls. I’ve collected these pages and assembled them in a binder that’s going to serve as my main guide to the world I’m building. This is my great achievement today.

As I have said in an earlier post, I’m on deviantART as well as here. I’m all over the internet, remember? I’m going to close my relatively short post today by sending you this, just in case you ever want to see some of my other work. It resides here. Now to work.

Today was the first of two consecutive days off. It’s been good. Some time with the girlfriend and her family, a nice lunch out, and some genuine relaxation. I’m not sure how I am going to react tomorrow, when I realize that I don’t have to go to work. It won’t be a bad thing, that’s for certain.

Now, just because I’m not working doesn’t mean that I’m not being productive. Far from it, actually. I’ve been, as today’s post title might hint, building a world. I’m intrigued by the procedure. I’m beginning to flesh out some details of a setting I created in college and then clarified a little more as part of a sociology project. I’m trying very hard to keep this from becoming cliché. I want it to be realistic. I’m quite grateful to my sociology class , actually, because it focused on various cultures and their different takes on communities. This gives me a lot of room to work. Various villages and city-states are going to be present in this story. Some are going to be areas of great focus. Others will merely be referenced in passing. Regardless, each one needs to be unique in order to have some value in this world. If each one of them can prove it’s own significance to me, then they can/will stay. The characters who inhabit these places will be under similar scrutiny. Call it perfectionism. I mean, it’s worth it in the long run, if it makes the story better. Maybe there will be one or two little things out of place, just to see if my readers are paying attention.

Without getting into too much detail (no spoilers will be found here, dear reader), the world I’m crafting is one set in another system, far beyond Earth. I’m intentionally avoiding any references to Earth, at least whenever possible. I want the people of my world to have nothing to do with Earth. It’s completely irrelevant to what I’m writing, and will therefore, be without mention, unless it becomes absolutely critical. I don’t predict this event.

Despite the distancing from Earth, the characters are human. Or, at least, they are mortal beings with some great resemblance to humans. Maybe an ancient colony, populated and forgotten thousands of years prior to my story. Either way, they have no idea where they came from. As far as they’re concerned, they’ve always lived there. No real explanation necessary. It’s not like anyone else has done that before. No, I’m not talking about George. As much as I am a Star Wars fan, there’s a lot better sci-fi out there.

I’m afraid I may be overextending myself. I’m about to wrap up one D&D campaign, as I’ve said, and I’m going to be starting playing in another as soon as the former one ends. In addition, I’m running a Star Wars Saga Edition game for some of my friends who are still in college down the road. While this is fun, it’s kind of stressful. There are reasons I don’t generally DM. Situations like this least among them. I’m doing these things in my free time, on top of work and hunting for a 2nd job and trying to write a novel. Oh well, I suppose. I’m young, after all. Now’s the time to make mistakes, while I can still bounce back from them. Besides, all of the extra random shit I do just serves as inspiration for characters and plot events. Let me tell you, you could write a novel about 90% of the customers you get in retail. It’s a strange world. All the better to populate my fictional one with these kinds of people, right? I mean, honestly, who would ever come up with some of these kind of things on their own, without some basis in reality?

I wonder how it is that Tolkien and Lewis set about creating the layout of their respective worlds. Both of these men created realms in which I spent hours on end in my youth (and even still today). I think that there’s something to be said about the absolute physical structure of the worlds. They both have an incredibly firm foundation, and I think that a good portion of that lies in maps. Tolkien especially loved them. He knew exactly where everything was in Middle Earth, and how far different places were from one another. He knew Middle Earth better than anyone else ever will, even if they devote their lives to it. Honestly, do you know how far it is from Cirith Ungol to Near Harad? Yeah, neither do I (not without relying on one of Tolkien’s own maps). I want to have that kind of an intimate knowledge of the world I create. I want to know my world so well that no one can read something and tell me that I screwed it up. It’s MY world, dear reader. My own. My precious…

What crime is great enough for a deity to be stripped of his powers and bound to mortal form? What act is great enough for him to gain them again? Is it enough for a god to recognize at last the desperate search for truth within one of his most fervent followers? Or must there be more? If someone came up to you and claimed to be your god, trapped in mortal form, would you believe him? Can a mortal win the heart of said god? Why would he/she need to try? Is prayer and devotion enough? What is faith?

These are just a few of the questions I’ve been asking myself over the last week. My concept for the novel is taking me on a lovely journey of religious self-discovery, since it centers on belief/disbelief. It’s been an interesting time. The thing is, I’ve always been considerably more liberally-minded than most of the rest of my family, despite my Catholic upbringing. Additionally, I’ve been far more accepting of ideas from outside influences. This has led, not to a complete rejection, but to a serious contemplation of my faith. It’s been rough, honestly, considering what’s been going on in my life over the last year. I’ve finished my college career, lost a grandparent, found my first real-world job, lost my favorite pet, started some new traditions, and managed to make some new friends while accidentally alienating others. It’s been an interesting year, to say the very least. I consider that everything happens, not necessarily for a reason, but that it happens, regardless. I am hardly the person now that I was then. I have to consider this to be a good thing. If I don’t, I’d lose faith in myself.

I am greatly looking forward to Monday and Tuesday this week. Why? Simple. It will be the first time I’ve had two consecutive full days off of work in almost 4 months. I’m not complaining about having work, mind you. I’ve got rent and student loans to pay, after all. I’m quite happy to have a job, especially since it allows me to be near books nearly constantly. I’ve always liked to be somewhere where I have books nearby. All the same, it’s a little exhausting to have only one day off at a time, especially when I’m working retail during the holiday season. I still can’t believe I survived all of that. Yeesh.

TLDR version: I’m tired, looking forward to time off, and questioning long-held beliefs. I feel I’ve finally stepped into the shoes of this character. I’ve just got to decide what kind of shoes those are going to be. Personally, I like sandals, depending on the weather. Otherwise, pirate boots are totally the way to go.

Side note: I’m wrapping up an amazing D&D campaign that has spanned the last (nearly) two years. It’s going to be sad to say goodbye to these characters. My character is a half-orc barbarian/dragon shaman who has devoted his life to being the scythe-wielding avatar of death for a white dragon. Should he survive this final battle, he will return to the frozen north lands as a barbarian king, uniting the various orc tribes under his banner, with the frostwind virago, Ilyana, by his side as his queen. It’s been a good run. I’m reluctant to set down the character sheet, but I’m ready for the chance to play some of my other characters again.

Anyway, I’m going to wrap things up for now, but before I go, I’ve got to return a favor to a good friend, who recently linked to here through her own blog. If you like this, but would prefer something in a bit more of a rambling flavor, give it a read. She and I tend to bounce ideas off of each other whenever we get together. We’re like the Inklings, only with less fame (thus far) and lame American accents. Ideally, someday we’ll both be famous, and this blog entry will be somewhere in the Library of Congress, for posterity. Goodnight.