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Everybody Wants to Rule the World Except Me: A Review

BEWARE! HERE THERE BE SPOILERS FOR BOOK ONE!

SERIOUSLY. GO READ BOOK ONE.

Did you do it? Okay.

Cool. Here we go.

Hail Dark Lord Davi!

Last time we checked in with Davi, she’d successfully manipulated the time loops that she’d been experiencing since she first woke up in The Kingdom, roughly 1,000 years ago (by her own personal reckoning). Since that day, when the wizard Tserigern first told her that she was the Chosen One, fated to save The Kingdom from the Dark Lord, she’s lived and died thousands of times. Each time, beginning a new time loop has allowed Davi to take advantage of her own memories and predict the actions of others around her. Each time, she’s failed to save The Kingdom. So, back at the beginning of Django Wexler’s absolutely brilliant How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying, she started a new tactic—killing Tserigern and setting off on a path to become the Dark Lord (surprise! Bet you didn’t see that coming).

Finally arriving on the far side of the continent and triumphing over her rivals, Davi now stood at the head of a massive horde of wilders with her second in command, the orc woman, Tsav, at her side (as well as frequently in her bed). With Artaxes, the arbiter of the challenges, having officially crowned her as Dark Lord Davi, all that remained was… wait… what happens now?

See, during the challenges, Davi died. Again. Only this time, she didn’t reset back to the beginning with Tserigern. She only went back one day. The rules changed, and suddenly consequences meant something again. Now, Davi faces a new problem. If she doesn’t want to lose all of the progress that she’s finally made in her march to power (and her relationship with Tsav), she’s going to have to stop treating the other people around her as tools and stepping stones. So, new list of tasks: 1.) Convince the wilders that they don’t have to kill all the humans. 2.) Convince the humans that they don’t have to kill the wilders. 3.) Not die.

No big deal, right? Davi sets off from the wilderness back to The Kingdom to uncover the mysteries of how humans ended up in this world in the first place, what changed about the time loops, and, if she’s The Chosen One, who did The Choosing.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World Except Me is another brilliant, darkly hilarious fantasy adventure from Django Wexler, and is a perfect ending to Davi’s long, long, long life. The footnotes throughout continue to annotate Davi’s incredibly ADHD approach to things (supplementing many of her thoughts with her own intrusive thoughts based on her fading memories of our world). Wexler’s humor ensures that Davi’s journey isn’t too fraught, but there’s definitely more consequences for her actions this time around.

It’s out in the world today, May 27th. Get yourself a copy, and dive in!

My utmost thanks to Orbit Books and NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for a fair review. I’m pretty glad I didn’t need a time loop to get it.

OR DID I?!

The Staircase in the Woods: A Review

“On Friday, June 5th, 1998, five teenagers went into the woods surrounding Highchair Rocks in Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

Only four of them came out.” – Chuck Wendig, The Staircase in the Woods

So begins Wendig’s latest novel. That summer night, Owen, Hamish, Nick, Matty, and Lauren went camping. The Covenant, as they called themselves, was bound by solemn promises to protect each other from bullies, to collaborate on homework so none of them fell behind, and so on. That night in the woods, high atop the cliffs, they find something impossible. A staircase, spiraling upward with no remnants of other structure around, no indications of how it had gotten there, or why. When no obvious answers could be found, most of the group decided to leave it be and go back to their campsite. Something about the staircase continues to eat at Matty, though, and so he invokes the Covenant (despite being told that’s not how it works) to get everyone else to go back with him and see what awaits them at the top.

Reluctantly, the other four teens trail along only to watch in shock and horror as, at the final stair, Matty vanishes. There’s no sign of him again.

The days and weeks after are chaos as the four survivors struggle to process what happened and to come up with a cohesive lie to tell to the police about what happened to their missing friend. They face relentless questioning about where they last saw him, who they talked to, and where he could have gone. The only problem is, none of them really know where Matty went, and the staircase is gone too, eliminating the possibility of anyone following after him.

Now, decades have passed, and the four surviving members of The Covenant have done their best to move on with their lives until an email arrives from Nick. He’s dying. Cancer. He wants to get the old gang together one last time before he’s gone, so he offers to fly all of them out to see him. He even invokes The Covenant to ensure that, despite all of the myriad issues they’ve developed as they’ve aged, they’ll come. And so they do.

Upon arrival, they quickly realize that Nick wasn’t being entirely honest with them. Instead of a nice get-together, he leads them off into the woods where, against all sense, they find the staircase again. It’s not the same place, but they know, somehow, that it’s the same staircase. He urges them to climb with him. A chance, he says, to do the right thing. To go find Matty.

To bring him back.

And, in the name of The Covenant, they follow.

The Staircase in the Woods is a brilliant, dark piece of horror from Wendig in the vein of Stephen King’s It (friends coming back together again as adults to face the evil they couldn’t defeat in their youth). The members of The Covenant have fallen away from each other, and they’re going to confront more than just the mysteries that lie at the top of the staircase if they’re going to have any chance of making it out of the woods again. I love Wendig’s horror (see my recent review of Black River Orchard) and I’m certain that most of you will too.

The Staircase in the Woods is out today from Del Rey books. My utmost thanks to them and to NetGalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for a fair review.

Advocate: A Review

Aelis is back again! Daniel M. Ford returns to the world we first explored in The Warden and Necrobane, and damn if Advocate isn’t another stellar entry in the series. At the end of Necrobane, Warden Aelis de Lenti had been notified that Bardun Jacques, her mentor from her warden training days, was arrested for murder. Word came to the frontier town of Lone Pine that the Archmagister has requested Aelis return to the city of Lascenise to serve as his Advocate, a role supplemental to his lawyer, and a position that can only be filled by another Warden. She must help to search for information that can prove his innocence, or he will most likely be put to death.

Aelis is loathe to leave her post behind, even if she only intends for it to be temporary. There are many things in Lone Pine that require her near-constant attention, and the people there have finally come to fully trust in her presence and skill. She’s almost starting to think of her sheep-shit-scented tower as home. Decent progress for a rich socialite trained as a Necromancer, really. But Bardun Jacques is the man who is most responsible for Aelis’s success as a student at the Lyceum, so she begins to pack her things for the long journey. She reassures the people that she has come to love that she’ll be back as soon as she can, hopefully with more answers for one particular person, and a particularly difficult problem that’s been plaguing her since Necrobane.

Aelis’s trip with back south to Lascenise with fellow Warden Amadin is interrupted when their carriage is attacked. This attempt on her life helps Aelis to realize that there are far bigger things at stake than just the career of one old wizard. She’s going to have to choose her allies carefully if she’s going to succeed and survive. Being back on familiar ground can only serve as so much of an advantage when there’s a full-blown conspiracy of theft and assassination coming to light. Still, she’s grown a lot during her time at her station in Lone Pine, and a Warden with three schools of magic at her disposal is nothing to mess with, unless you have a great deal of power and influence to wield yourself.

Daniel M. Ford continues to be a powerhouse of a fantasy writer. As he delves into more of Aelis’s history (academic and otherwise), he showcases more of a spectacular magic school and its surrounds. The Lyceum is every bit as wondrous as you would want a magical college to be, complete with a library that rivals those found in The Name of the Wind and Shadow of the Torturer. His combat scenes are tight, well-choreographed, and intense, and his worldbuilding remains top-notch. I loved every page of Advocate, and I hope that you do as well.

Advocate hits store and library shelves on April 22nd. Get ready. And hope, like I do, that there’s more to come.

My utmost thanks as always to Netgalley and Tor for an eARC in exchange for a fair review.

When the Moon Hits Your Eye: A Review

Scientists around the world are absolutely baffled when they wake up one morning to find that the moon has turned into cheese.

No, seriously, that’s the premise of John Scalzi’s latest book, When the Moon Hits Your Eye, and it’s hilarious. The book follows people around the world as they try to cope with the change. Some are scientists being pressed to find out just what happened and why. Others are capitalists, hoping to be able to use the mysterious switch to gain themselves even more money and keep from falling into financial ruin. Others still are people of faith asking why God would do this/allow this to happen, and struggling to find a place on one side of that divide.

With a mix of (maybe somewhat dubious) science and his traditional humor, Scalzi has presented a fantastically fun glimpse of just how well we would or wouldn’t handle a major paradigm shift. When the Moon Hits Your Eye is out today, 3/25/25. It’s a fun, quick, and ultimately rather silly read, but in times like these, we can use a little more of just that. My utmost thanks to Tor and NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for a fair review.

His Mortal Demise: A Review

It’s The Last Bloodcarver sequel time! Vanessa Le’s duology comes to a spectacular end.

Beware, as unmarked spoilers for book #1 will follow!

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Okay, y’all. At the end of The Last Bloodcarver, Nhika died. Using the last of her strength, she healed Kochin and saved his life, passing along the bone ring that had belonged to her heartsooth ancestors in the process. Now, Nhika has woken up in one of the Congmi family’s other manors on the other side of the country. Kochin is nowhere to be found, and Theumas is now at war. Her entire world has turned upside down, and she’s desperate to find answers, but Mimi and Andao are hesitant to tell her the truth.

Six months ago, Ven Kochin almost died, but he was rescued by Nhika. Using technology developed by Dr. Sando during Sando’s attempt to resurrect his dead son, Kochin keeps Nhika in a comatose but stable state. With Theumas on the brink of war, he ventures home to see his estranged family and make amends before setting off on a fool’s quest to find a way to revive her. His own resources dwindling, he knows that he must make his way to the island of Yarong, from whence the heartsooths originally came. Who can he trust to keep Nhika safe while he searches for answers?

Vanessa Le’s writing is just as solid in His Mortal Demise as it was in The Last Bloodcarver. Nhika and Kochin’s split narrative is clever and well-managed, keeping the tension tight as his timeline ticks down and hers continues on into wartime. I’m thrilled to have gotten a chance to read this one. My utmost thanks as always to MacMillan and NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for a fair review. His Mortal Demise dropped on Tuesday, 3/18/25. Go check it out!

Rose/House: A Review

It should be well known at this point that I love haunted house stories. Arkady Martine’s new novella, Rose/House is no exception to this.

In China Lake, California, legendary architect Basit Desiau built his masterpiece. Rose House is an advanced artificial intelligence that is fully integrated into the entire structure of a solitary house built out in the desert, some distance from the town proper. The locals refer to it as a haunt, as the AI within Rose House permeates through the whole building.

There is a dead man inside Rose House. That has been true for a year. Desiau arranged for the house to take the carbon that remained in his body after his death and compress it into a diamond, which the house then put on a plinth for display. In that respect as well, Rose House has always been haunted.

Now, though, there is another dead man inside Rose House. That shouldn’t be possible, as the only person in the world who was supposed to be able to access the labyrinthine house and its collection of Desiau’s archived work was on the other side of the world when he died. Dr. Selene Gisil, a former student of Desiau’s, is the only living person allowed inside Rose House. Her permissions, set by Desiau before his death, are to ensure that she remains the sole human caretaker of his notes and unpublished works. Despite having publicly distanced herself from Desiau before his death (and diamond-ification), Gisil is still the person he wanted to serve as seneschal.

Twenty-four hours have passed since this mysterious man died, and so Rose House has fulfilled its obligation by notifying the China Lake police precinct, in accordance with its programming guidelines. In order to get inside to examine the decedent, Detective Maritza Smith must track down Gisil and convince her to come back to the United States. There’s no one else that Rose House will allow inside, dead body or no. But who is the victim? How did he get inside Rose House to begin with? What is really happening out in the middle of the Mojave?

This is the first of Arkady Martine’s works that I’ve read, and I was very impressed with my first foray into her writing. Rose/House is a tight, tense narrative with little room for embellishment that you typically encounter in similar, albeit longer, works. All of our narrators get a little time to shine, and will leave you questioning what any of them really saw or did. I’ll definitely be looking into A Memory Called Empire in the near future if this book is at all indicative of Martine’s writing. My utmost thanks to Tor and to NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for a fair review. Rose/House is out in the world in hardcover tomorrow, 3/11/25. Go grab a copy, and let it grab you.

Swordheart: A Review

New T. Kingfisher? New T. Kingfisher!

Okay, new-ish. Swordheart was first published back in 2018, but it’s getting a shiny new reprint courtesy of Tor’s Bramble imprint. So, new!

Halla doesn’t have a lot in her life. Her husband died years ago, and she’s been living in her great-uncle Silas’s home, caring for him and the household in his old age. She describes herself as a respectable widow, and while she is infinitely curious, she’s also relatively content to live has she has been.

Silas’s death changes everything. Due to Halla’s having cared for him, he left her (and her alone) all of his possessions in his will, and his other relatives are livid at the perceived slight. Her great-aunt Malva and cousin Alver vow to lock Halla up in her room until she agrees to marry Alver, so that Silas’s house and things will remain in their possession. In her desperation, Halla decides to kill herself, drawing a sword that was in Silas’s collection. Her attempt to stab herself is cut short when a man appears in the room with her. His name is Sarkis, and he is bound to the sword that she just drew. Remove the sword from the scabbard, and you can command him, a la a genie in a lamp. With a duty to protect Halla, as she is the rightful owner of the sword now that Silas has died, Sarkis sets about freeing her from her imprisonment.

After breaking out of what is, by all rights, Halla’s own house now, she and Sarkis flee the small town of Rutger’s Howe (and I can’t help thinking that T. Kingfisher is a Blade Runner fan). They set off on a journey to secure Halla’s inheritance so that she has something to bequeath to her own nieces, having no children of her own, but there are many obstacles in their path. Soon, they have to face off against brigands, lawyers, priests, and unspeakable horrors. With the assistance of Zale (a representative of the Church of the White Rat) and a gnole named Brindle, the adventurers journey from Rutger’s Howe to Archen’s Glory. They need not only to prove that Halla is the rightful heir to Silas’s house and the sword that contains Sarkis, but also solve the mystery of Sarkis’s entrapment in the sword almost 500 years prior.

And what’s an adventure in a medieval-inspired fantasy world without a little romance? This is a Bramble title, after all. Halla is a respectable widow, and Sarkis is an ancient soul bound to an iron blade. That’s not about to stop either of them from developing feelings toward each other. They might be able to eventually tell each other the truth, but truth is often more complicated than it should be. Is Halla attracted to Sarkis only because he saved her life? Is Sarkis only attracted to Halla because he’s been barely able to live as a man over the last few centuries of sword-dwelling? Is it right for a widow to fall in love with her bodyguard and vice versa?

Set in the same world as Kingfisher’s Saints of Steel series, Swordheart will delight fans who will recognize elements of Halla’s journey (and maybe several of the characters she meets along the way). For me, it was my first foray into the world of the White Rat, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Halla is delightfully disarming and has much to learn about the world outside of her small home town, while Sarkis is brusque and harsh but slowly comes to understand the people of the “decadent south” as time passes with her. The influence each has on the other is slow-building, but masterfully written. The reprinted version of Swordheart hits shelves Tuesday, February 25th. Check it out.

My utmost thanks to Tor/Reactor/Bramble and NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for a fair review.

But Not Too Bold: A Review

Do you like Gothic romance? Do you like spiders? Oh, do I have a book recommendation for you.

Dália has lived most of her life in Capricious House, serving as an apprentice to Ms. Matilde, the Keeper of the Keys. The massive manor house is isolated, surrounded by fields of poppies and filled with tarantulas (which serve as pets to many of the servants in addition to being utilized as a food source). The Lady Anatema provides well for her house’s servants, and Dália wants for very little. When her supervisor/caretaker dies suddenly, Dália is appointed as the new Keeper of the Keys. The Lady summons her to the third floor of the house, forbidden to most of the servants, but the dwelling place of Anatema herself. There has been a theft, and the Lady needs answers. Someone has stolen one of her memories, an intricately woven replica she made of her most recently deceased bride.

The Lady Anatema is not, as you quickly learn, human. She is an enormous spider-like creature, and one of the few remaining Archaic Ones in existence. Archaic art is highly sought after, so there’s a small chance that one of the servants in the house has simply stolen Lady Anatema’s weaving to sell. It would fetch a high price, allowing one to live extremely well outside of Capricious House, but that would mean betraying Lady Anatema. Dália can’t imagine ever wanting that, and so she agrees to assist the lady of the house with the investigation. On her way into the library to meet Anatema, she passes by the house motto, written into the flooring: BE BOLD, BUT NOT TOO BOLD. With that in mind, she enters the library and brings herself to the attention of Lady Anatema.

Upon the discovery of a second theft, Dália begins to compile a list of suspects to question. Who has stolen from Anatema and why? After all, most of her brides have ended up devoured by her. The investigation requires Dália and Anatema to spend a considerable amount of time together. As they grow closer, new feelings and desires come to light for both of them, but they are not the only residents of Capricious House who have been hiding secrets.

But Not Too Bold is a stunning sapphic novella. It’s an unsettling but romantic story that races along in 128 short pages, weaving through the halls and grounds of Capricious House like a spider’s web. Hache Pueyo has won a new fan with this one. The English translation will finally be available on Tuesday, February 11th, and I hope you check it out! Thanks to Tor and NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for a fair review.

Adrift in Currents Clean and Clear: A Review

It’s January, and that means that it’s time for a new Wayward Children novella! In Adrift in Currents Clean and Clear, we are reintroduced to Nadya, a turtle-loving Drowned Girl that we first met in Beneath the Sugar Sky. In that book, Nadya was one of the students of Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children who accompanied Sumi’s daughter, Rini, on her quest to bring her mother back to life. Before she traded places with Sumi’s soul in the Halls of the Dead, long before she first made her way to the waters of Belyyreka, Nadya was an orphan. Abandoned by her birth mother, she was raised in an orphanage where most of the visiting families would pass her by because of her missing right forearm. Eventually, though, an American couple arrives and whisks her away from her home in Russia to the mysterious, distant city of Denver, Colorado. Not going to lie, folks. Of all the places Seanan McGuire has taken readers of these books over the last decade, the one I least expected was right here in Colorado.

Nadya’s new parents want to help her fit in, so she takes English classes and is eventually taken to a doctor to be fitted for a prosthesis, something that she had never considered, because she is whole as she is. A prosthetic arm makes the forearm she never had suddenly visible to her classmates at school. Since neither of them consulted with her on the idea before deciding she’d get it, Nadya’s less than thrilled with the whole thing. Feeling unloved, she goes for a short walk to visit a nearby turtle pond that had always cheered her up, a place she frequently would visit with her adoptive father. That’s when she sees it. Carved into a turtle’s shell are the words “Be Sure.” Reaching for the turtle to try to help it, since someone was clearly cruel to it, Nadya falls into the pond and through the doorway that had formed there.

Waking up in the drowned world of Belyyreka, Nadya is quickly befriended by the humans who live there. Many of them are like her, swept-away people chosen by the Doors from their own worlds. She finds a home among them, learning to work with turtle partners to fish and explore. She even finds a turtle partner of her own, named Burian, who will eventually grow large enough for Nadya to ride on their adventures. But all good things must come to an end eventually, and we readers already know that Nadya will make her way to Eleanor West’s School for Wayward Children in due time.

Seanan McGuire has once again crafted a phenomenal addition to the Wayward Children series. As with all of the even numbered books, this one deals with the backstory of a character rather than a present-day adventure. Nadya’s story is a great guide to acceptance of one’s self, and finding ways to be true to that even when others try to change who you are. Adrift in Currents Clean and Clear is available today. I know I needed it more than I realized. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thanks to Tor and NetGalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for a fair review.

Witch Queen of Redwinter: A Review

And now the story of Raine Wildrose does come to an end. A little over a year ago, I was introduced to Ed McDonald’s spectacular fantasy series when I was offered an advance copy of Traitor of Redwinter. I hadn’t read the first book, but I was so intrigued by the concept that I binged the audio version of book one in order to get through book two by publication day. Now the trilogy has come to an end.

Previously, Raine learned that her lord and trainer among the Draoihn, Ulovar LacNaithe, was dying. As it happened, his strength of magic was being drained from him and channeled into his nephew, Ovitus LacNaithe. Under the manipulation of Sul, one of the Fallen Lords, Ovitus was positioning himself to take over the leadership of the Draoihn of Redwinter. Ulovar sacrificed himself to grant Raine the power she needed to escape Ovitus’s clutches, and Grandmaster Robilar sealed herself in stone to stop Sul. Ovitus, however, remains in power. Now he seeks desperately to access the Crown that lies beneath the castle at Harranir, but without access to the Fourth Gate of the Draoihn, he can’t gain entry to the Blackwell where the Keystone lies in store. No Keystone means no entry to the Crown itself. No Draoihn who remain loyal to Ovitus can access the Fourth Gate, and his own attempt to take his uncle’s was cut short by Ulovar’s death.

Raine’s connection to the Sixth Gate, the Gate of Death, is now undeniable. She is one of the Sarathi. She died a third time at Sul’s hands, only to be saved by Sanvaunt’s awakening of the Fifth Gate’s healing powers. Thanks to Esher and Sanvaunt’s intervention, all three of them managed to flee from Ovitus. Now, however, they are trapped in the Fault, a sort of in-between world filled with half-dead creatures and the other Fallen Lords. The trio’s only hope for survival lies with The Queen of Feathers, the mysterious woman who has been guiding Raine since the day she first met Ulovar. Raine believes her to be imprisoned somewhere within the Fault, but journeying anywhere there is a painful undertaking. Getting out of the Fault is only the beginning, though. Raine is filled with the memories of the other Sixth Gate users who came before her, and she must learn to use their power without losing herself if she and Sanvaunt and Esher are going to have any chance to save the world. Raine also desperately wants to save the two of them, but is torn between her love for each of them and their feelings for one another.

The Redwinter Chronicles very quickly became one of my favorite series. Ed McDonald has written a spectacular and clever fantasy version of the UK. Raine is a complicated protagonist, frequently conflicted in her choices due to her forbidden abilities to see the dead. Now coming into the full potential of her power, she’s going to be dealing with more difficult decisions than ever before. The fate of the world is at stake, and the only person who can save it is the one thing the people fear the most: a witch queen.

Witch Queen of Redwinter is available as of last Tuesday, November 12th. Go check it out. My utmost thanks to Netgalley and Tor Publishing Group for the eARC in exchange for a fair review.