What crime is great enough for a deity to be stripped of his powers and bound to mortal form? What act is great enough for him to gain them again? Is it enough for a god to recognize at last the desperate search for truth within one of his most fervent followers? Or must there be more? If someone came up to you and claimed to be your god, trapped in mortal form, would you believe him? Can a mortal win the heart of said god? Why would he/she need to try? Is prayer and devotion enough? What is faith?
These are just a few of the questions I’ve been asking myself over the last week. My concept for the novel is taking me on a lovely journey of religious self-discovery, since it centers on belief/disbelief. It’s been an interesting time. The thing is, I’ve always been considerably more liberally-minded than most of the rest of my family, despite my Catholic upbringing. Additionally, I’ve been far more accepting of ideas from outside influences. This has led, not to a complete rejection, but to a serious contemplation of my faith. It’s been rough, honestly, considering what’s been going on in my life over the last year. I’ve finished my college career, lost a grandparent, found my first real-world job, lost my favorite pet, started some new traditions, and managed to make some new friends while accidentally alienating others. It’s been an interesting year, to say the very least. I consider that everything happens, not necessarily for a reason, but that it happens, regardless. I am hardly the person now that I was then. I have to consider this to be a good thing. If I don’t, I’d lose faith in myself.
I am greatly looking forward to Monday and Tuesday this week. Why? Simple. It will be the first time I’ve had two consecutive full days off of work in almost 4 months. I’m not complaining about having work, mind you. I’ve got rent and student loans to pay, after all. I’m quite happy to have a job, especially since it allows me to be near books nearly constantly. I’ve always liked to be somewhere where I have books nearby. All the same, it’s a little exhausting to have only one day off at a time, especially when I’m working retail during the holiday season. I still can’t believe I survived all of that. Yeesh.
TLDR version: I’m tired, looking forward to time off, and questioning long-held beliefs. I feel I’ve finally stepped into the shoes of this character. I’ve just got to decide what kind of shoes those are going to be. Personally, I like sandals, depending on the weather. Otherwise, pirate boots are totally the way to go.
Side note: I’m wrapping up an amazing D&D campaign that has spanned the last (nearly) two years. It’s going to be sad to say goodbye to these characters. My character is a half-orc barbarian/dragon shaman who has devoted his life to being the scythe-wielding avatar of death for a white dragon. Should he survive this final battle, he will return to the frozen north lands as a barbarian king, uniting the various orc tribes under his banner, with the frostwind virago, Ilyana, by his side as his queen. It’s been a good run. I’m reluctant to set down the character sheet, but I’m ready for the chance to play some of my other characters again.
Anyway, I’m going to wrap things up for now, but before I go, I’ve got to return a favor to a good friend, who recently linked to here through her own blog. If you like this, but would prefer something in a bit more of a rambling flavor, give it a read. She and I tend to bounce ideas off of each other whenever we get together. We’re like the Inklings, only with less fame (thus far) and lame American accents. Ideally, someday we’ll both be famous, and this blog entry will be somewhere in the Library of Congress, for posterity. Goodnight.
The Swords of the Ancients 