Greetings, readers and fellow NaNo participants! Having already topped 1,000 words on the day, I’ve taken a slight break from all of the insanity of the first day of my first ever attempt at National Novel Writing Month to share something with you. This is not the original story I’d planned to post for Sonia M’s October/November writing challenge. I was going to go with something a little more tilted for yesterday’s mood, and you may still get that at some point. This is something that I crafted within the last half hour or so. Call it a writing sprint. I’ve prepared another piece for you that I hope you all enjoy. I present “Masks” for your reading pleasure.
Masks
āItās not who you are,ā she spat. āItās who you keep pretending to be. Why canāt you just be yourself when youāre around them?ā
I pondered this, not wanting to fuel her anger. She was upset enough as it was. āI dunno,ā I replied. āHonest. I donāt even realize that itās happening. I guess Iāve just been hiding things from so many different people for so long that I donāt even make a conscious effort to do it anymore.ā
āWhat the hell is that supposed to mean?ā Her hands were alternating, sometimes crossed over her chest, other times on her hips. Probably something to do with her uncertainty of emotion. Anger and compassion were dueling inside her head, and the movement she made was my only hint as to who was winning at any given time.
āYou say I put on a different mask for every group of people Iām around, and I guess that I can believe that. I mean, to one circle of friends, I am a slightly different person, and then thereās my family, and even there I suppose thereās a different face thatās presented to my parents versus my sisters versus my cousins and whatnot.ā
āYouāre just now realizing it?ā Chest.
āIt seems that way…ā
āThen whatās going on when weāre together?ā Hips. Uh oh.
āWhen Iām around you, itās like I can take the masks off. I donāt need them around you. Who I am when Iām with you is probably the closest Iāve been to my true self in years.ā
āAnd Iām supposed to just accept that? Do you even know who you are?ā Still hips. Defcon 2.
āYes?ā
āARGH!ā She stomped away briefly. āCan you at least give me an answer?ā
āI donāt remember who I used to be. Iām fairly certain that Iāve been hiding myself from everyone for so long, that I canāt remember what my own face used to look like.ā
āWhy?ā Chest. Maybe still a chance for redemption in this conversation.
āI got made fun of a lot as a kid. I thought we talked about this before. I was the easy target, I guess, maybe because I never had what it took to be an athlete. People seemed to think that was the only way out of my home town. Maybe they thought I was doomed, and so they were trying to toughen me up. Maybe they just didnāt like dealing with someone smarter than they were. The first āmaskā I wouldāve put on wouldāve been to hide the fact that it hurt when they said things like they did.ā
A hug. I guess that Iād at least said something right.
āYou never got over it, did you?ā
āIām not sure. I think Iāve moved past it, but I still put on these other faces when Iām around them.ā
āThen itās time to change.ā She took my face in her hands. āAnd I know just how to get that first mask off,ā she said as she kissed me.